Sherlock Holmes: A Game of one-liners.

So the trailer for Guy Richie’s highly anticipated sequel to 2009’s hit Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, is upon us. The film looks about as passable and mildly entertaining as its predecessor, perhaps more so, but I couldn’t help but notice a couple of things. Despite a dreadful title and a couple of new characters in the form of the Girl With a Dragoon Tattoo star Noomi Rapace and Lane Pryce from Mad Men (a bearded Jared Hess), it is mired by Richie’s trigger-happy use of slow motion, which grew aggravating very quickly in the first film and also, more annoyingly, nearly every line sounds like a shoddy one-liner.

Here’s a handy list:

“The cards can illuminate your future.”

“I have a feeling you’re in danger.”

“Actually, I’d prefer to read your fortune.”

“Oh, how I’ve missed you Holmes.”

“I see your web of conspiracy has expanded.”

“Are you sure you want to play this game?”

“…I’m afraid, you’d lose.”

“I agree it’s not my best disguise, but I had to make do.”

“*Winks*”

“Didn’t see this on the cards, did you?”

*Slo-mo shot of cartridge shell exiting rifle*

*Slo-mo shot of exploding tree*

*Slo-mo shot of Holmes running through gunfire*

*Obligatory shot of topless Robert Downey, Jr.* “Make it count!”

*Yet another slo-mo shot of characters running through explosions in the woods*

“I’m on my honeymoon!”

“Get what’s in your hand out of my face.”

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is released 16 December 2011. Expect expository dialogue, mild innuendo and a running time doubled by needless slow motion.

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